I remember back in the late 2010s when the debate and meme stating that buying a passport over Jordan sneakers was the better move popped up on social media. I knew then that the growing travel culture was on a first class ticket straight to hell. Since then, travel culture for many Millennials and Gen Z has been consumed by clout, social status, and a desperation for exclusivity, attention, and validation. Because many individuals in the two generations are not purchasing and owning homes, marrying, or even having children as older generations traditionally have done, experiences such as travel have taken place of those milestones. Not only has trips from everywhere to the Amalfi Coast to Tokyo replaced wedding rings and baby carriages for many, but it has also become the new status symbol.
When I went on my first international trip, it was a girl’s trip. After months of excitement, planning, and preparation, the trip was soured by an ex-associate who made it her personal duty to compete with me non-stop during my stay. This girl’s trip gone bad wasn’t a sole experience that only I had faced, but it was an entire phenomenon where women in their 20’s and 30’s have fallen out with friends and associates while away vacationing. Enter in the “Miami Ruins Friendships” theory. Since the dawn of the 2020’s, there has been a plethora of social media discussions and story time videos about how the sunny South Florida city is destroying friendships. Some people have even went as far to utilize spiritual reasonings on why as soon as the girls step foot into Miami International Airport, it goes down like Yung Joc.
The problem is, this phenomenon isn’t just happening in Miami. As in my experience, this happened way down in the Caribbean and I never saw it coming. The problem isn’t Miami, the problem (one of many) is that travel has become the new social currency and that kind of currency always comes with competition, pettiness, and territory marking. For the young lady I vacationed with, traveling was her thing. She enjoyed being the most well traveled out of our former trio and I was a newbie to the world of jet setting. I was stepping into her territory and she wanted me to know my place and not outshine her.
That’s the common theme I notice when discussions about negative social aspects concerning travel comes up. Ego. People brag about no longer going to places like Turks and Caicos because it’s no longer “exclusive” or complain about the no Benjamin’s bringing friends who had the nerve to come to Cancun with $100 and a dream (more like a nightmare). Speaking of the lack of sufficient funds on trips, it amazed me how people can boldly leave their city with so little coins and then it dawned on me that many of these people don’t want to miss out and are embarrassed to admit to their friends that they can no longer afford to attend the trip. They want to keep up and avoid looking like the “broke friend”.
Many people have packed their egos in their luggage and that’s why everything from fist fights to friendship fallouts occur on or after trips. Since the 2010’s influencer culture and social media has introduced traveling as branding, luxury, and status to the masses. Reality TV shows always incorporate at least one group trip the cast attends and absolutely cuts up. Traveling has also become way more accessible and easier for the average person to afford which is helpful. When someone would have hired a travel agent to book a Paris trip in 2004, in the current era a flight to France is only a few clicks away via apps like Expedia, and there are plenty of buy now-pay later sites for traveling on a budget. So what’s the big idea with all of the clout chasing?
Traveling has transformed my whole world and changed my entire life, including the first international trip where I endured passive aggressive bullying and jealousy. I never looked at travel as a way to look down on others or pull rank, but upon traveling consistently post pandemic, I picked up on how people around me were reacting. Associates I had known for years and even random women on social media began to hover around me in awe, soft stalking, pocket watching, and attempting to mirror me because they felt they needed to impress me, keep up, attach themselves to me, and get my stamp of approval. While I’m sure where I was going accounted for the obsessive behavior, it was the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen and experienced in my life.
People I thought I was cool with began to unfollow me as they took my vacation posts personal. That’s when it hit me. While traveling is about fun, exploration, and creating memories for me, many people see it as a social hierarchy and competition. Factor that in with materialism and social media and you have one hot mess.
Because traveling is more accessible than ever, and it’s even more valued than settling down for many Millennials and Gen Zers, so many people feel the need to jump into the competition and measure themselves against their peers. Keeping up with the Jonses via new homes and cars has been replaced with status traveling. Your social worth is connected to where you’ve been and how many places you’ve been.
Upon many of my travel adventures, I’ve seen how people projected their own insecurities or social media baddie fantasies onto me when I was just living my life like it’s golden. Like, why are you kissing my behind and auditioning to be my friend as if my travel is going to automatically rub off on you…It then made perfect sense as to why so many people travel and still remain ignorant of other cultures, places, and people. The constant turmoil of young women traveling with fake friends and users became even more clear. Travel has become an expensive performance for others. People can travel for whatever reason they choose, but I really wish I would pay a couple of bands for a vacation with the primary and only motivation impress others. That’s poppycock.
Where does it leave us when resorts and timelines have been transformed into social battlegrounds? Connection dropped. When friendships and bonds should be solidified especially in an era where so many people are lonelier and friendless than ever, they become distant memories upon arriving home. People remain close minded and ignorant of the world around them after paying thousands to experience it. The unhappiness so many are facing is still present behind the smiles on Instagram travel dumps. Traveling will not make someone better, happier, or even more interesting if they’re not doing the internal work. If you feel the need to go into debt, skip out on priorities, or feel shame for being honest about an inability to afford a trip because you want to keep up with people, you need to be around better people.
If you’re motivated to venture to places with beauty standards that don’t match your own to prove your attractiveness only to be disappointed from being turned away at clubs, change your tune. Traveling is amazing, but it’s not the end all be all of life itself.
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